Names have been changed
to protect the innocent because I don’t feel like listening to my ex bitch about reading about himself on the internet. And he can’t prove anything because his name isn’t really Carl.
Carl – My ex-husband. He’s
35 36. We were together a long time, close to 20 years, and married for 13. Honestly, I think he’s kind of an ass and if he just disappeared one day, I would be cool with that.
Denise – Carl’s girlfriend / baby mama / sugar mama (is that a thing?). She’s
22 23 and a stripper. From what I surmise, they were sleeping together within two months of him leaving and she ended up pregnant. She does naked “pole fitness” for a living (I call it being a stripper, but whatever) and Carl stays home with their spawn, Henry. (Though I recently found out that they both “entertain” adults online, on demand, for money. Go ahead and puke now, I did.)
Laura – Carl’s aunt. He moved to her basement when he moved out of my house, and has now ended up back in her basement.
Karen – Laura’s daughter. She has two kids, one a little older than Vivian, and one a couple years younger. She’s living with Laura now too.
Caitlyn – Mine and Carl’s oldest daughter, who’s
8 9 going on 16. Also known as Blondie. She’s a sassy little thing.
Vivian – Mine and Carl’s youngest daughter, who’s
almost 4. She’s cute, but a handful.
Philip – The man who melted my frozen heart after I swore off men forever. He has infinite patience and holds me when I cry. Honestly, I wish he were my kids’ father, but I’ve never told him that. Until now. Get that bucket, baby.
I’ll add more as necessary, so feel free to reference this if you’re confused about who’s who.