Another Disappointment

It’s been awhile since I’ve come here to complain.  Things have been mostly quiet on this front.  There was a big dramatic scene where Carl and Denise broke up, she told him that the Spawn isn’t actually his, she altered the paternity test, she and Henry moved out but he found out they were living in a shelter and let them come back til she found a place and they’re still there because she pays half his rent (all of this is according to Carl, of course, so take it with a grain of salt), but that’s mostly it.  He still doesn’t work, doesn’t have a drivers license, and has burned all his bridges.  He doesn’t ask me for things anymore, since the time he asked me to bring him a gallon of milk and all I said was “no”, no explanation or excuse.  I’m good with that.
**UPDATE** Since I started writing this, he asked me to bring him a gallon of milk when I brought the girls up.  “No”, to which he replied “Wow OK thank you”.  I must have jinxed myself on that.
Caitlyn has been involved in arts activities all summer – musical theater camp, choir, violin.  Musical theater camp consists of two weeks of intense rehearsals followed by two performances.  The first one this year was last month.  I told Carl which two days the shows were and reserved the tickets for him (to pay for at the door – and they’re only $5).  He chose the Saturday show, so I went Friday and took my family.
Saturday afternoon comes around.  I drop Caitlyn off at the theater to get ready.  Carl sends me a message – “Laura [his aunt] was supposed to drive me, but now she has to watch Karen [Laura’s daughter]’s kids.  So I can’t go.”
Really?  Two hours before the show, and you’re going to flake out on your child?  I don’t know about you, but I would be moving heaven and earth to find a way to get there.  I told him that he would have to call her and tell her.  Sadly, she wasn’t overly surprised or upset.
I tried to find a replacement for him.  I wanted someone to be there to see her, and I wanted to help fill the seats in the theater.  On short notice, though, I couldn’t find anyone, though I did get alot of support from people who said they would have like to go had they known sooner, and to let them know about the next one.   So Vivian and I went and watched the show again.
I’m glad we did.  By the end of it, I had seen the show three times (dress rehearsal, opening night, and matinee).  Each one was different and unique.  I was able to share with Caitlyn how neat it was to see the cast do a little bit of improvisation in each show.  And I was there to support her when her father wasn’t.
We’re in the first week of the second session of summer musical theater camp.  It started Monday.  I knew that I would need to reserve tickets within the next couple days, so I went ahead and informed Carl of the days and times and asked which he would be attending (mainly so that I could arrange to be there the opposite day).  The next day, I followed up because I hadn’t gotten an answer.  His response?  “I don’t have any way to get there, so I can’t go.”
Um wait, what now?
The show is a week and a half away, and you can’t find a ride to and from your child’s musical in that time?  Seriously?
But I left it at that.  I stewed silently in front of the girls and complained loudly to anyone else who would listen.  I posted the event to Facebook with a note to message me if anyone wanted to attend.  Who comments on it but Laura – “I would love to go!”
Hmmm.  It seems that Carl made precisely zero effort to find a ride, at least with Laura.  I would think she would be the first one he would go to, given the fact that he lives in her basement.
Am I mad? A little bit.  Am I sad for Caitlyn?  Yes.  Less so for Vivian, as she barely remembers life with him in the house, with him as her “full time” father (not that he ever really was one anyway, but I always made sure he got where he needed to go when he needed to be there).  Like people have told me, he’ll dig his own hole and she has to see that.  She will need to disappointed in him before she sees what he is.  But as her mother, it hurts to have to watch that process.

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